What I'm Not Going To Do

I have decided this year not to make New Year's Resolutions, I am going to make Un-Resolutions. I can never hold to my resolutions for more than a month at time and sometimes they last all of a day. So this year I am not setting myself up for failure, I have to much on my plate for that. I will make Un-Resolutions.

1. I will gain 25 pounds by next New Year. I will eat everything that is placed before me. I will eat from the buffet every chance that I get. I will find every sweet and salty food that I can find and pig out daily. I will consume all the most unhealthy foods and enjoy my tightening waist band and bulging belly.
2. I will not exercise at all this year. When not at work I will lay on the couch and do nothing all day. I will have my children bring me my sodas and chips while I lay in my pile of candy wrappers. I will not move to anywhere throughout the day, we will order take out for dinner. If something requires that I have to walk or move I will get a scooter.
3. I will not get organized this year. I will have laundry piled up so high I can't tell which is clean and which is dirty. I will have to do the smell test to determine the clean or dirty. Dishes will be left a couple a days before I holler at the children to get them done or else. At the office I may lose a few papers under a few papers that are stacked in a few piles upon the desk and floor and everywhere else you look. Just don't expect me to find that report too soon.
4. I have decided that this year the glass is never going to fill up, it will never be half full or half empty. That damn glass has been haunting me for years. Everyone has been telling me to look at that glass and change my outlook. Well you know I'm sick of that damn glass I think its time someone broke the glass. This year I will have no glass. I will look at the world the way I want to. If I wake up happy your lucky if I wake up grouchy watch out.

Well that is my Un- Resolutions for the Year 2012. I hope that I can carry each and everyone out or not. If you say it one way you usually do the opposite so lets see if its true. So check back with me in the next 365 days and see how I faired over the year.